Anger can be a powerful and useful tool for setting boundaries and stating what is acceptable to us. And it can be destructive, petty and hurtful. A lot of the work I do with the individuals I support is focused on identifying when Anger is needed, how to express it so it is helpful , and learning when Anger is a mask, hiding other feelings that needs attending to. When we remove our masks, we can connect in a more authentic, respectful and effective manner.
As many of us exercise mindfulness as a tool to enhance equanimity and emotional well-being, we may find it difficult to reconcile what seems like a conflict. On the one hand, we want to allow ourselves to experience all feelings, even the ones that bring discomfort or pain, while on the other hand we strive to accept that which we realistically cannot change. For example, how can we accept the grief over the death of a loved one, the loss of employment or a school year or a relationship, or over watching a parent deteriorate physically and cognitively? How can we accept what we so much wish to be different, while embracing the sadness, anguish and helplessness attached to that reality? Perhaps the key is to honour both ends. We can make room for the feelings, like setting daily "worry time" or "crying time" over what is scary, frustrating or painful, AND create a space for some compassionate radical acceptance like saying to ourselves "I wish things could be d...
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