I recently met a young woman who was told by another therapist that an experience she had in high school "was not sexual assault". Without getting into the details of the incident (it actually WAS an assault), I want to focus here on confusion. In this world of changing, sometime conflicting, messages on what is expected of young people of all genders, in a global environment of instant gratification (Likes, for example) and lack of careful future planning (the climate crisis, for instance), where leaders are mostly measured by their wealth or fame rather than their vision for their community, is it any wonder that so many have no clear set of values to follow?
We'd all like to think that the children we are raising, our friends, colleagues, fellow students would never hurt anyone, but every person who abused, assaulted or raped has family members and friends who are shocked to learn of the horrific pain this person caused others. What messages are we sending to boys about "being a man?" What do we tell girls about their expected role/s in society? Who are the role models of youth in our time? What are they famous for and what do they "sell" us as success?
While therapists have a duty to remain informed, educated and sensitive, specifically when a person discloses that they were assaulted or abused, we all have a lot of work to do on deconstructing words, actions as well as explicit and implicit messages about what is important, about what is right. We all have to work towards a world based on respect, equity and humanity.
And as a reminder about consent: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oQbei5JGiT8
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