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Showing posts from May, 2019

Hand in hand

I recently spoke with a very seasoned therapist about the role of the therapist in the therapeutic process- is it to witness and contain, to observe and accompany or to help facilitate change? Should transformation come only as a result of the individual reaching insight on their own, or can the therapist take a more active role? There are recent peer-reviewed studies showing that the outcome of therapy is very closely tied to  therapists' characteristics , much more than to the type  of therapeutic modality (like CBT, DBT, etc.). "Interestingly, more effective psychiatrists, meeting regularly with patients, achieve better outcomes administering a placebo than do less effective psychiatrists administering antidepressant medication (McKay, Imel, & Wampold, 2006)!" 1 Among the qualities found to be necessary for effective therapists is creating an alliance that is steeped in empathy, collaboration, optimism and hope. Beyond the research, I believe that most individu

It's getting better all the time? Part 2

As Spring becomes more present, as we start moving our bodies more, particularly outside, I turn my attention to a more micro understanding of "better". What does it mean to you, to be "doing better"? Even without the comparing-ourselves-to-others perspective I discussed in the part 1, what is at the root of the aspiration to better ourselves, for instance, do be fitter? I am certain that most of us know and appreciate the value of living a healthy lifestyle, eating nutritious food and exercising. But to what extent are some of us pushing our respective bodies beyond what is available to them without accounting for aging, physical or mental limitations? Are we adding guilt and shame where these emotions are not functional? It is an interesting tension to try and hold- striving to be healthy and fit AND accepting our bodies for what they can do at this moment in time. Maybe it is worthwhile for us to stop searching for "better" and start looking for "g

It's getting better all the time?

This week I've been thinking about our need to "be better". There are 2 facets to this notion for me- for now I will discuss the more macro one. I'm wondering why "being better than..." is, well, better than just "being". When and how do we learn to compare ourselves to others in order to evaluate how we are doing, and who we are? It may be tempting to point a finger at parents and relatives, but while they are in most cases complicit in the comparison habit, we may want to look beyond the family to notice themes of contrast, competition and judgement. We all realize that comparing can be a useful tool in discerning where we need to improve and that competition can be a very effective motivator, but should they be our only tools of evaluation and motivation? And how does harsh judgement get used as we compare ourselves to others? I invite us all to explore our own relationship with comparison and competition and examine how they've impacted o