As Spring becomes more present, as we start moving our bodies more, particularly outside, I turn my attention to a more micro understanding of "better". What does it mean to you, to be "doing better"? Even without the comparing-ourselves-to-others perspective I discussed in the part 1, what is at the root of the aspiration to better ourselves, for instance, do be fitter? I am certain that most of us know and appreciate the value of living a healthy lifestyle, eating nutritious food and exercising. But to what extent are some of us pushing our respective bodies beyond what is available to them without accounting for aging, physical or mental limitations? Are we adding guilt and shame where these emotions are not functional? It is an interesting tension to try and hold- striving to be healthy and fit AND accepting our bodies for what they can do at this moment in time. Maybe it is worthwhile for us to stop searching for "better" and start looking for "good", "happy" or "content" in what is possible.
As many of us exercise mindfulness as a tool to enhance equanimity and emotional well-being, we may find it difficult to reconcile what seems like a conflict. On the one hand, we want to allow ourselves to experience all feelings, even the ones that bring discomfort or pain, while on the other hand we strive to accept that which we realistically cannot change. For example, how can we accept the grief over the death of a loved one, the loss of employment or a school year or a relationship, or over watching a parent deteriorate physically and cognitively? How can we accept what we so much wish to be different, while embracing the sadness, anguish and helplessness attached to that reality? Perhaps the key is to honour both ends. We can make room for the feelings, like setting daily "worry time" or "crying time" over what is scary, frustrating or painful, AND create a space for some compassionate radical acceptance like saying to ourselves "I wish things could be d...
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