Skip to main content

Meditating self-compassionately...



Recently, I had a wonderful opportunity to attempt mindful meditation using a different approach- one that does not propose only noticing thoughts that come to our head while we attempt to meditate, but one that suggests actually following these thoughts, learning from them and even celebrating them, instead of viewing them as a distraction. 
This approach invites acceptance, gentleness and kindness directed at ourselves, since there is judgment even in labeling various thoughts or feelings during meditation as distracting or diverting from the “real” purpose of meditation. 
It was fascinating and exciting to see where the mind, body and spirit can go when blame, shame, guilt, and following meditation “rules” are out of the way! If we treat even our challenging feelings and thoughts with compassion and welcome them into our consciousness (inside and outside a meditation process), we can learn so much about our commitments, values, identity, that was otherwise unavailable. And, we gain one more opportunity to practice radical acceptance and self-love, which can be powerful tools for health and healing.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

When Pain is the Present

As many of us exercise mindfulness as a tool to enhance equanimity and emotional well-being, we may find it difficult to reconcile what seems like a conflict. On the one hand, we want to allow ourselves to experience all feelings, even the ones that bring discomfort or pain, while on the other hand we strive to accept that which we realistically cannot change. For example, how can we accept the grief over the death of a loved one, the loss of employment or a school year or a relationship, or over watching a parent deteriorate physically and cognitively? How can we accept what we so much wish to be different, while embracing the sadness, anguish and helplessness attached to that reality? Perhaps the key is to honour both ends. We can make room for the feelings, like setting daily "worry time" or "crying time" over what is scary, frustrating or painful, AND create a space for some compassionate radical acceptance like saying to ourselves "I wish things could be d...
Post a Comment
Read more

Using Narrative Therapy in Daily Life and Relationships

Narrative Therapy- created by Michael White and David Epston- can be useful outside the therapy room. One key principle of Narrative Therapy is Externalization- distinguishing between a person and their problem. In my experience, it is also extremely useful to separate a specific behaviour or action from the person. Managing relationships in the work place, within your family or with your friends or your spouse/partner, can be done in a less emotionally-charged way once we learn to criticize a behaviour rather than criticizing the person. There are pitfalls, though, and a frank, respectful discussion about change can only lead to positive results if all involved are invested in the other's well-being... If you are in a personal relationship with someone who seems not to care about your happiness, I invite you to explore why you are there, and whether you need to make a change. More on the "right time" to make a change in the next post! The views and suggestions o...
Post a Comment
Read more

Us Too- Part 2

About 2 weeks ago, a man asked women on Facebook the following question: "If every night there was a lock-down for men only, from 8:00 PM to 8:00 AM, what would you do (that you don't currently do for fear of getting hurt)?" In a moving blog post, Maya Tevet-Dayan*, notes that hundreds of responses were received. Women said that they would go to the beach on their own, walk alone on city streets after dark, ride their bikes in the fields near their homes, not worry when they send their daughters to the store or to a friend's house. What simple and mundane replies! Tevet-Dayan rightfully laments the expropriation of the public realm so that girls and women simply have no claim on it or the opportunity to exist in public spaces safely, when they are alone.  If you are not a girl or a woman, of any age, you most likely have never had the experience of knowing, all the time, that you can be hurt in the community. Stares, catcalling, body-shaming, being followed, being sho...
Post a Comment
Read more