Therapeutic Thoughts

Narrative Therapy- created by Michael White and David Epston- can be useful outside the therapy room. One key principle of Narrative Therapy is Externalization- distinguishing between a person and their problem. In my experience, it is also extremely useful to separate a specific behaviour or action from the person. Managing relationships in the work place, within your family or with your friends or your spouse/partner, can be done in a less emotionally-charged way once we learn to criticize a behaviour rather than criticizing the person. There are pitfalls, though, and a frank, respectful discussion about change can only lead to positive results if all involved are invested in the other's well-being... If you are in a personal relationship with someone who seems not to care about your happiness, I invite you to explore why you are there, and whether you need to make a change. More on the "right time" to make a change in the next post! The views and suggestions o...

Many times I wonder, mostly after hearing a story about a client's horrific childhood, whether any therapy can mend the "unmendable". Can a healer, a therapist, or anyone else, fill the excruciating void created by parents who were unable to provide the care, stability, warmth and nurturing all children need and deserve? And more specifically, can I, filled with great intentions, some good tools and strategies and a listening heart, really help ease the pain, shame, guilt and anger that survivors of a shattered childhood experience? A while back, I worked with a young woman whose childhood and teenage years were drastically impacted by her mother's experience in a residential school.* There seemed to be no measure for her hurt, caused by a harsh, judgmental and non-validating environment, and no end to her pain over the family conflict and relationships break-down that ensued as a result. As a therapist, I struggled to find an "anchor"- a goal, a dream,...