Skip to main content

Leaping ahead: An accidental life lesson

On a wintry afternoon by the lake, I was out for a walk with a friend. As we reached an icy patch on the trail, I walked around it to avoid slipping. At the same time, my friend lunged forward and ran across the ice, sliding on it joyfully. It occurred to me in that moment that we can live our lives in either approach- avoiding perceived danger or charging toward perceived opportunity. It is necessary to differentiate between situations in order to avoid actual risk (physical or emotional), but my feeling is that most of us tend to lean more towards the pole of extreme caution.
What do we lose by avoiding risks? How did we learn that taking a chance is scary or not worth trying? When did failure become such a bad word? Who do we need next to us as we chart a new, and often frightening, path? Important questions to explore...
As for me, this moment on the trail led me to reflect on my own tendencies, and on the next icy patch I thrust myself forward and slid on the ice. A few more attempts honed my ability to tilt my body forward instead of the natural inclination to hold back for fear of falling- and the sliding became a happy thrill.
Let us create more opportunities to dare, since "a ship is safe in a harbour, but a ship is not created to stay in a harbour." (paraphrased from John Augustus Shedd).

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Honouring the Available

 What a year we are having! From early 2020, we have been dealing with the pain and loss of Corona-related illness and deaths, isolation, uncertainty, financial strain and loneliness. We are also seeing important shifts toward a more just, less racist, less greedy societies. It is quite the turmoil and it requires two things that most of us have difficulty doing- slowing down, and surrendering to the unknown. This is particularly challenging if you are a planner/organizer, who finds comfort in structures, preparations and set timelines. It may feel like you have no anchor beneath you, like everything is chaotic, unpredictable and unsound, as if the ground beneath you is shaky. There are many online resources on calming and grounding methods, and on practical tools for creating a structure for oneself is this somewhat structure-less time. What I suggest we add is a gentle, compassionate, self-assessment tool: "What is available to me right now?". The answer can direct us away ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Emotional Fixers- Rewards and Risks

Are you an emotional fixer? Is it your role to make sure that the people you care about are happy and content? That there is harmony- always- and agreement for everyone around you? While peace and understanding are goals for which to strive, you may want to ask yourself a few questions: Is the harmony coming at the cost of minimizing, even eliminating, your own needs? Who assigned you this role? Are you trying to fix someone else's emotional distress for them? I believe that respectful conflict is essential to healthy relationships and that disagreements can be one way in which values are explored and refined. In my personal and professional experience, I have seen the emotional fixer take the impossible task of pleasing others and trying to heal wounds that are not their own, but it is never enough... We all have a responsibility to do our own emotional work. You can be caring, loving and supportive while setting healthy boundaries between you and others. Otherwise, the risk to y...
Post a Comment
Read more

Meditating self-compassionately...

Recently, I had a wonderful opportunity to attempt mindful meditation using a different approach- one that does not propose only noticing thoughts that come to our head while we attempt to meditate, but one that suggests actually following these thoughts, learning from them and even celebrating them, instead of viewing them as a distraction.  This approach invites acceptance, gentleness and kindness directed at ourselves, since there is judgment even in labeling various thoughts or feelings during meditation as distracting or diverting from the “real” purpose of meditation.  It was fascinating and exciting to see where the mind, body and spirit can go when blame, shame, guilt, and following meditation “rules” are out of the way! If we treat even our challenging feelings and thoughts with compassion and welcome them into our consciousness (inside and outside a meditation process), we can learn so much about our commitments, values, identity, that was otherwise unavailab...
Post a Comment
Read more