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Filling the Unfillable Void

I recently watched Rocketman, a film based on Elton John's life and music. Beyond the music, dance and costumes, the film tells the story of a painful childhood steeped in invalidation and harsh criticism. In one moving moment, after hitting rock bottom, John offers his younger-self what was not available to him emotionally from his parents. That short scene sheds light on a dual need- the historical need in nurture, warmth and acceptance and the present-day need to feel loved, appreciated and heard. 

Not one of us can travel back in time to fill any needs that were not (fully) met and erase the pain of that deficit, and we all have the power to fill the void that continues to live in our present context. It takes work to develop this skill and to build a sense of emotional safety. I am always touched and grateful when I get to support individuals in this process and to witness their journey of self-healing. 

As Elton John and Bernie Taupin co-wrote (in 2001): 
I want love, just a different kind,
I want love [that] won't break me down,
Won't brick me up, won't fence me in.
 
We all deserve that. I hope 2021 brings everyone the strength to practice self-love, healing and  compassion.

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